Heartbroken? Pick Those Pieces.

So if you’re reading this, there could be a number of reasons for it. Did the title catch your attention? Did you just come across this link and decide to read the post of a humble new blogger? Did someone refer it to you?
It doesn’t matter how you came to this page. Now that you’re here, don’t go away. Take some time, and continue reading. Read on as I try to be as empathetic as I can with a broken heart. I know I can’t see you, I know I can’t hear you, I know I’m probably miles away from you but thanks to the mighty Internet, we can bridge all those gaps. We can bridge the gap between the two pieces of your heart. Yes, we definitely can.

Since I am a girl, I will obviously refer to the ‘special someone’ as a ‘he’. But if, by any chance, a male is reading this, then it does too. Just put your girl (or guy, as may be the case) in the place of the ‘he’ I’m referring to. And just think if this isn’t what you feel…

So, why’s your heart broken? There could be a number of reasons. He doesn’t like you back and is happy single? He doesn’t like you back and likes someone else. He hates you for some mistake you committed and refuses to look at you or speak with you. The reasons could probably be endless because we humans, we’re stupid creatures. We let tiny things break us, break our heart. The idea is to not let it happen in the first place but then, we’re always children because we’re always learning something or the other. Sometimes, it’s just better to learn things the harsh way – SOME things. It’s so difficult to learn that there will be so many reasons for us to fall but we need to find that one reason to stand up tall again.

Let’s say you know how you can contact him. But you still won’t. Why would that happen? Because several things are missing.
Confidence. Once bitten, twice shy. Why would you want to pick the pieces of your heart if they’re only going to fall from your grip and break into tinier fragments? Worse still, what if holding on to the pieces causes your hand to bleed further…? So, a broken heart leads to lack of confidence or at least, lowering of belief in oneself.
Assurance. Assurance that talking to him will change things, will make things all right. Assurance that nothing further CAN go wrong. This is related to confidence. Trust. Already heartbroken… can you trust someone who has already played with your heart and played so dangerously too?
Love. A broken heart finds it difficult to love. Yes, it’s hard to believe because very often, why ARE we heartbroken? Because someone has rejected or abused our love. And we feel upset because we ‘still love them’. But that’s untrue. We ‘loved’. With a broken heart, that goes away… love is over.

If you want to talk, make things all right, you’ve got to know if the risk is worth taking. Be truthful to yourself and you make the choice.

You know how it is with match-fixing? When we already know who the winner is, no matter how hard the team that’s supposed to lose shall fight. Doesn’t it feel that way? That you’re fighting for a lost cause? That you’ve already been defeated, that things will never be fine but you’re just trying anyway? Do you prattle away unnecessarily? Are you hyper and overjoyed and overexcited above all the pain and sorrow and depression you feel? Is it because it serves as a getaway? Maybe you’re just attaching yourself to a new someone-special to forget the old one? Or maybe you’re finding it difficult to move on to a new special-someone because the old one has left too many scars and so, you’re not giving anyone a chance to heal them, not even yourself?
Are you befriending dark, lonely nights and sitting up aimlessly?
Do you feel lonely and lost in your once-upon-a-time passionate one-sided love? Like you’re now standing in one corner and watching the action take place? The very action that had you as an integral part of it just seems to have slipped away…? Doesn’t it make you feel like a once-famous star who now has to bow down before an upcoming star, a junior? Are you confused about something now? About who you like or don’t? About who to trust or not? About what to do, where to go?

So, where to go? How to pick up the pieces of a broken heart?

It starts with putting the love right back to your heart. And to do that, it doesn’t take all too long.
A heartbroken person bears grudges, resentment, low self-esteem and hurts over the past long gone. The grudge and resentment needs to be erased totally. Forgiveness is definitely the first step to allowing a broken heart to heal. Forgive the one who doesn’t like you back the same way – he can’t help it and you can’t control him. Forgive the one who’s hurt you – he’ll regret it later and it’ll never do him any good. Forgive the ones who have said mean things to you – being nice is the best punishment to give the meanies. Forgive. It’s an automatic invitation for love to return to a loveless, shattered heart. Confide. Confide in a best friend who’s been around since forever, or someone who confides in you. Trust. A small part of you might scream and protest against this because of the past but try. Not everyone abuses trust. Anyone who confides in you can be trusted to keep your secrets and outpours safe. Without feeling cared for and loved by others, how will love come back to your own heart?
If you eradicate resentment and grudges and readily trust someone, love has already made its presence felt in your heart. Now do the thing most of us find difficult to do, love YOURSELF. Without loving your own self there’s no way you can love others. If you can’t accept what you are how can you accept others?

Love brings a smile back on the face, contentment and peace in the mind and a bounce back in the walk. There’s nothing like it. It’s the essence of philanthropy.

We haven’t the power to decide what will happen to us. We cannot decide who will like us deeply, more than just friends. We cannot choose our parents, our siblings, our motherland. We cannot choose which people to meet in our lifetime. We cannot choose for certain things to not happen to us.
But there are things we can choose and we must make the best use of those. We cannot decide what will happen but we can decide how we will react to it. We cannot decide if someone’ll reject us but we can choose to react to it either by being upset and depressed and resorting to self-harming or we can just accept that this is how it is and live with it. Ultimately, it is acceptance that we must deal with, irrespective of everything else.

I don’t know if you found this boring, weird, crazy or actually worth reading. I actually wrote this a good while back – when I was younger and I suppose, sillier. But if it touches even one person, I can safely say, it was worth writing this.

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8 thoughts on “Heartbroken? Pick Those Pieces.

  1. Well, you can now say it was worth writing this. This post is very honest, very well written and very wise. Thank you so very much for sharing!!!! xo

  2. So, what happens if someone I loved is the same person who hung around me as my best friend and now dislikes to see my face or talk to me because of silly things I did.

    1. Hi Emily! I am no expert, and I can only give you what I think. I’ve been there and I know how awful it can feel. All I can ask you is, did you apologise if it was your mistake? Did you give everything to salvage what you have? If you did, and your friend still does not want to talk to you, then you have to accept that first. And you need to know that whatever silly thing it was that you did, it does not make you a horrible person because we all make mistakes. We are only human. Accept that it happened and it cannot be changed and slowly, move from there. It’s not an easy ride, but I’m here, and so are, I am sure, many others.

      Best wishes.

      1. I put in everything to save whatever I could. And when that didn’t work out, I decided to spend time understanding and accepting that every single relationship will not always work out. I had to heal, and I did so – with friends and family, and most importantly, with me time.

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